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Secrets About What Really Turns Women On

Sometimes in sex, quantity can be as important as quality. It hardly matters that you and your partner have a good time together if you get turned down more often than the sheets do. Therefore, speaking as a woman, here are some secrets about what really turns women on. Practice emotional foreplay.

Sultry French icon Brigitte Bardot said that sex begins early in the morning and ends when you go to sleep at night another writer also said that sex begins in the kitchen - meaning that the way you treat your lady throughout the day determines just how hot she'll be when you're ready to get horizontal.

Make thoughtful ongoing efforts that say I care about you. Take her shopping and buy her something (besides lingerie). Bring her flowers once a week. In the car, kiss her at every red light. Make dinner for her and clean up afterward. Stick a romantic note in her wallet.

Call her at midday to say she's on your mind. In the evening, pour her a glass of wine, ask her to tell you about her day and sincerely listen. You may think these ideas are predictable or clichéd, but they work.

Remember her name. Flirt with her at home on an ordinary day. Find her mysterious and inspiring. Instead of using casual endearments such as baby or honey, speak her name as if it were the key to the world's treasures.

Roll her name on your tongue like a juicy, forbidden fruit: Say it softly, say it tenderly, say it firmly, say it between kisses, say it as you take her hand and guide her toward the couch. Say it while you're making love.

Heat up the DVD player. If your sweetie isn't a fan of explicit porn, you can still spark her ardor with a surprise from the local video store. Pick up a romantic film that contains sensual, erotic components - even something a little out of the ordinary like the 1964 Japanese classic Woman in the Dunes, which features one of the most carnal yet tasteful lovemaking scenes ever filmed.

Make sure your choice matches her taste - and if you don't know her taste, learn it. While watching the movie, hold her close, caress her, and tease her. By the time the credits roll, she'll be all over you. Control yourself. Show her that affection needn't always lead to sex

Women often resent the feeling that when a man gets close, it's meant as a prelude to rattling the bedposts. But when a woman feels that you crave her body as more than a sex toy, her uninhibited desire for you is free to emerge. So give her a massage and just hold her. Kiss her for 10 minutes in 10 different ways - and then go reorganize your tool box. Run a bath for her, light a few candles, and lovingly wash her hair. Don't ask for more. But don't be too surprised if she does.

Pursue, pursue, pursue. For most women I know, a fine line exists between being pressured and being pursued - and we love to be pursued. As it may be, there's something pretty juicy about a man who is deaf to an initial "no" in an established relationship. A woman who isn't otherwise in the mood can be infected by the magnetism of your desire if you persist in a stylish, seductive manner.

When to back off? Before your partner feels harassed and you feel demoralized. How to tell when you have reached that point? Experience. Every relationship is different, so pay attention to verbal and nonverbal signals. And if you get the message that "not now" does indeed mean "not now, and not 10 minutes from now, either," rein in your disappointment.

Don't spout, sulk or withdraw affection. If you handle her refusal graciously, you'll score points that will lead to an enthusiastic "yes!" sooner rather than later. Make it memorable. If your other half doesn't want to make love as often as you do, could it be that the experience isn't as exciting for her as it is for you? How often would you want to eat at a restaurant that serves a mediocre meal?

Remember that part of seduction is making sure she has vivid, happilyever- after recollections of what transpires once she gets there. To create those memories, pay close attention to the next four points. Cross erogenous borders. A woman's excitement rises when a man makes love to all of her. You've probably heard that before, but try looking at it this way:

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A woman's body, from her arching brows to her carefully painted toes, is as hungry for stimulation as your penis. Imagine how you'd react if a woman thought she could satisfy you by rubbing a one-centimeter circle somewhere on the head of your favorite organ. Would that make you happy?

Now think about making love with your partner. Do you think that simply stroking her clitoris - rich with nerve endings, but still one minuscule spot - is really going to make her want to repeat the whole process tomorrow?

While women love orgasms, and stimulating the clitoris is a great way to induce them, what a woman will remember best is the fact that you aroused her to the melting point before you got your hands on the thermostat. Explore her genital "web."

The clitoris is not merely a sensitive pearl, but a much larger, wishbone-shaped organ made up of erectile tissue that extends beneath the labia on both sides. As a result, a delicate web of nerve fibers crisscrosses the vulva (the entire genital area), making a woman responsive to a vast range of manual and oral strokes and pressures.

Take your time to explore this unknown territory, and learn the subtleties of sensation available to your partner before you focus on stimulating the clitoral glands (the little nub) to make her come. Since so few men pay attention to the vulva as an entity or know of its potential, you may awaken a surprising new source of pleasure in your partner.

Learn the ABCs of the G - Spot. It triggers unexpected, ecstatic sensations. Sometimes called the "female prostate," the G-spot is an area of spongy tissue found a few inches inside the vagina. If you were to insert a finger (with your hand palm-up) and crook it in a "come here" gesture, you'd probably be touching your partner's Gspot, although you wouldn't feel its fullness unless she is highly aroused.

Keep your eyes open. Sex is about the joining of heart and spirit, not just flesh. Even when certain sexcapades seem rough-and-tumble on the surface, a woman is still impacted on emotional levels. If she feels empty or alone afterward, her memory of the experience, no matter how physically exciting, will be tainted. If she feels empty and alone during lovemaking, as though you aren't there with her, the impression of your emotional absence will quell her desire for a follow-up engagement.

You can't fake being truly present - you're either there or you're not - but certain techniques help maintain attention and forge a genuine bond. Making love while gazing deeply into each other's eyes, for example, creates an electric connection that will amaze you with its potency. This is not for the timid; be sure you're ready for it.

Enakeno Oju

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